Manly Sea Eagles head coach Kieran Foran has urged men struggling with their mental health to reach out for help, telling the inaugural Warringah Men’s Stronger Together Breakfast that his own experience had shown him it was “impossible” to fight those battles alone.
Mr. Foran also urged men to “dig deeper” when checking on their family and mates to get a truer understanding of their mental wellbeing.
Kieran joined Warringah MP Zali Steggall and local men’s support organisations at Queenscliff Surf Life Saving Club on Sunday August 16. Hosted by Ms Steggall and the Warringah Men’s Collective, the event brought together local men’s groups, support organisations, mentors, fathers and young men to improve awareness of local services and encourage men to seek support if they are struggling.
Zali Steggall opened the event, which was MCd by Mongrels Men founder Tim Hewson. She said conversations with local organisations had highlighted the range of pressures facing men, including isolation, relationship breakdown, financial and housing stress, gambling harm, online influences and poor mental health.
She noted alarming statistics showing more than three-quarters of Australians who die by suicide were men.
“Too many men still feel expected to carry burdens quietly and alone,” Steggall said.
“We must do more as a nation, but we can start here as a community. There are so many organisations doing incredible work across the Northern Beaches and Lower North Shore. The message to men and boys is simple: the help is there and the community is there for you.”
Keynote speaker and Manly Sea Eagles head coach Kieran Foran gave a moving account of his own mental health struggles, addiction and suicide attempt, as well as the devastating loss of his stepson Logan to suicide.
Mr. Foran told of checking on Logan’s welfare not long before his death. “I remember looking at him in the eye and saying, "Mate, you make sure that you talk to me if things are not okay for you." And he said, "Yeah, yeah, I'm fine, mate." Three weeks later, he took his own life.”
“And every day I live with: why didn't I dig deeper in that moment? Why didn't I search for what was really going on in his mind? … That's something I make sure I do now.”
Kieran said the event’s “Stronger Together” message reflected an important lesson from his own experience.
“This truly is about fighting these battles together,” Kieran said. “I’ve lived through trying to fight it on your own, and it really is impossible to do.”
Mr. Foran spoke about learning to ask for professional help, build healthier habits and surround himself with people who supported him. He urged men experiencing difficult periods in their lives not to believe their circumstances would never change.
“I’m living proof that you can turn your life around. One decision doesn’t define you. Many poor decisions don’t define you. You get to control your own destiny. And if you want help, it’s there for you - you’ve just got to be prepared to reach for it.”
The event also featured local organisations providing support to men, fathers and young people.
James Dressler-Smith, founder of Dad Steps, said simply walking and talking with other dads can have huge benefits. Recalling a father going through a difficult period in his marriage, Dressler-Smith said: “He said to me on one of the walks, ‘I genuinely look forward to these walks on the weekend, because they’re helping me get through my weekdays.’
John Whelan from WNOW (When No One’s Watching) encouraged people to actively connect men in their lives with the support available locally. “Reach out to the men in your network, in your world - your mates, your cousin, your uncle, your dad, your partner - and tell them about all the great services available on the Northern Beaches,” Whelan said. “Support is there. You’ve just got to take the first step.”
Hayley Bowen from Lifeline Northern Beaches said help-seeking should be seen as a strength, rather than a weakness. “We all have a role to play in breaking that stigma and really encouraging men and young men to access support when they need it,” she said adding that support must be available when men first begin to struggle, rather than once many problems had accumulated.
Nick Crott, founder of PAVE Mentoring, called on adults to be truly present and available to young people. “If you know someone, if you have a son or daughter who’s struggling… my one piece of advice is: just show up. Be there for them and create the space. Be vulnerable yourself, share your story, and allow them to do the same.”
Ms Steggall noted the broad age range of men and boys at the event, from toddlers and children to young men, new fathers, those in middle age and older men. She emphasised that every stage of life brings different experiences and challenges, and support is available for men and boys at any age.
“We have an incredible network of organisations in our community,” Steggall said. “We need to keep building those connections and making it easier for men and boys to take that first step.”
The full list of participants on the day:
Dad Steps, Fireside chat with Dads, Gidget Foundation- Men’s Support, Greenway Men’s Shed – Kirribillli, Lifeline Northern Beaches - Mosman to Kirribilli, Mates in Construction, Meditation HQ, Men's Kitchen, Mentoring Men, Mongrels Men, Mosman Men's Shed, North Sydney Men's Shed, Northern Beaches Community Men's Shed, NSLHD- NB Adult Mental Health Service, Pave Mentoring, Pioneer Clubhouse – men’s services, Relationships Australia, Spoke to a Bloke, Sydney North Health Network (Northern SydneyPHN), The Fathering Project, The Men's Table, The Overcomers Place, Tresillian – Men’s Support, Vipers Run Club, WNOW.
If you or anyone you know needs help please call:
- Lifeline (24-hour Crisis Line): 13 11 14
- Kids Helpline: 1800 55 1800
- MensLine Australia: 1300 789 978
- Suicide Call Back Service: 1300 659 467
- Beyond Blue: 1300 22 4636
- Headspace: 1800 650 890
- ReachOut: au.reachout.com
